The beauty lies in You…
Yes you are indeed beautiful and amazing. You just need to accept it and believe it to your core and declare it loud to the Universe.
Most of the time, we are blaming ourselves for the bad relationships, for not having money, for not being in the right job; in fact for everything that is not happening in our lives, we find fault in us.
We judge ourselves, criticise ourselves, and compare ourselves with others that we are not good enough. Every second we are seeking approval in everything – in our every relationship, in every work we do, in every situation. We are constantly craving for appreciation. We want our lover to tell us that we are beautiful; we want our bosses and colleagues to tell us that we are doing a great work; we want our kids to appreciate us. Such examples are never ending. This happens, in spite of us knowing that we are beautiful, we are doing a great job, we are good parents etc.. Are we not enough to appreciate ourselves?
Does it sound like you? Many of my students and clients come to me with similar complaints. “My husband does not love me,” “My boss does not appreciate me,” and the list is never ending. And my first question to them is, “Do you love yourself?” And the immediate reply is “Yes of course.” But on further digging and probing, we find that it is not self love.
If you dig within yourself, you will find that we don’t love ourselves. We are filled with anger, hatred, judgements against ourselves. We only pretend that we love ourselves. It is a known fact that what we have inside us, we radiate out into the Universe. We can only give what we have. So how do you expect to get appreciation and love from the outside, when you yourselves are harbouring anger, hatred against you? It is the pretentious love which you are having for yourself, that you are giving to others and you are getting back the same.
If this is resonating with you, then, my dear friend, it is time you say “Enough is Enough…” and take things in your hands and change your story. And the first step to your new life is self love and self appreciation. You need to have love and appreciation towards yourself in order to get love and appreciation from others.
So how do you practice self love and self appreciation? Here are few simple rituals which can bring a major shift in your mindset and then transform your life.
1. Forgive yourself: The first step is to forgive yourself for everything that is not happening in your life. Create a list of situations, decisions, relationships, or anything which have happened in the past or happening now, for which you blame yourself. Then forgive yourself. Then, for every item of the list, say to yourself, “I forgive myself for……” After you do this exercise, you will feel much lighter and find peace with yourself. One step further, if you could forgive the people involved, that would be the icing on the cake.
2. Love, love and love Yourself: Say to yourself aloud, every morning, looking into the mirror, “I love you.” You can say this sentence, every time you look at yourself. In your mind, affirm always, “I love myself” and “I approve of myself.” Practice this for one month and notice the difference in you.
3. Self Appreciation: Notice how you engage in conversation with yourself. Are you talking like, “I am not good enough.” “I am not beautiful” “I am not good at….” When you say these negative words to yourself, your subconscious mind believes it to be true and you become the truth. It is now time to change the story. From today onwards, start saying the opposite to yourself, “I am good.”, “I am beautiful.” “I am outstanding at…”. When you start appreciating yourself, you will find your self esteem and self confidence soar and you would not look towards the external world for appreciation.
4. Celebrate yourself: You do not need anyone else to celebrate you. Celebrate your every win, whether big or self. Whatever you achieve, appreciate yourself, give yourself a hug, a pat, and treat yourself. Don’t hesitate to give yourself a gift to that amazing person who have done an excellent job.. and the person is You.
5. Take time for yourself: Every day, set aside at least half an hour for you. Do something which you love. Take out for “ME” time by doing something that nourishes your soul and make you happy.
Follow these simple steps and you will begin to accept and experience yourself more and then you will allow and encourage others to express themselves in the same way.
So are you ready to have a love affair with yourself?
Anubhuti of InnerSelf supports HIV+ kids, orphans, slum children and destitute women.Come and join us